The Return Of Marco and Jake
by Cyber Hyena
Summary: The final installment! The funniest yet! Will Marco ever give up his pathetic atempts for revenge? *snorts* R&R!


**THE RETURN OF MARCO AND JAKE**

Episode VII

(Disclaimer: See Episode VI.)

Spring was in the air at the residance of Tenchi Misaki, it brought beautiful weather, love, and one other thing. Two 14 year old boys on a doomed mission, two boys who could morph, two boys who are American; they are Marco and Jake. They came up the all too familiar path leading to Tenchi's house and up to the gardians of the gates. Marco was now dressed like Genral McAurther and Jake was rolling his eyes and on the street pretended not to know Marco. The gardians began with they're usal greetings.

Azaka: " Well, well, Jake and his compainion 'Genral' Marco. An honer to have you in our presence!"

Kamadaki: " Ah, I guess we can rest safe with the conquring hero, with a driping bubble pipe. Good thing he brought his sensable friend along, he may not live to wear out his welcome."

Marco: " You know, I've just had it with your mouth."

He pulled out a lighter and the two wise asses shut up and let them pass. Marco resumed his millitary march up to Tenchi, who was coming back from the garden. Tenchi began to giggle at Marco's get up and almost burst out laughing. Marco ignored him and went up to their usal room in the house. Marco began to lay out their stratagy for this year's campaigen.

Marco: " Over the course of this year I, the brillant Marco, have learned the most vital information to our cause since the location of the bath house and the time the girls were in there."

Jake: ( throwing a flash light at Marco,) "Stop milking the suspense, what little there is."

Marco: "So not funny, any way I found out that Sasami, Ayeka's little sister, is accutally two women in one! Her adult form is called Tsunami, and she better looking than both Ayeka and Ryoko put together! Tenchi told me via E-mail of this and my superior intelect helped me come up with our first plan 'A'."

Jake: I'm just guessing here but does it have something to do with Tsunami?"

Marco: " Tell him what he's won Johny!"

Jake: " This had better work."

Marco: " Have my plans ever failed? Don't answer that. Anyway here's my plan, we make Sasami grow up, or we separate Tsunami from her. Then you and I play match maker."

Jake: " Do you have a back up plan?"

Marco: " Over Three."

They made their first stop in the lab where Washu lived, slept, and worked. Marco and Jake entered to find Washu already waiting for them. She had a look of amusement on her face.

Washu: " Back again so soon? You guys practally live here during the spring."

Marco: " Little Washu, we were wondering if you had any thing that could separate…"

Washu: " NO, I can't seprate Sasami and Tsunami."

Jake: " Damn, scratch that plan. Oh well, I guess we just sit back and relax this time."

Marco: " Lets not give up, remember I have several plans. Little Washu do you have any thing that can project holograms, realistic ones?"

Washu: "Hmmm.. I just might. Now were did I put it…"

She began to rummage through the oods and ends piled up in storage. She was practaly buried in machinery when her hand broke through holding a circular disk the size of a frisbie.Washu un-earthed herself from the parafinalia cluttering the floor and dusted herself off.

Washu: " Here, and also here is a voice simulator, night vision/infered goggles, and mini laser torch. I enjoy making spy gear, as a hobbie."

Jake: "Thanks, can we keep them? If Marco's uses fail I'll be able to use them." 

Washu: "Sure, I can always rebuild them."

Marco and Jake came out of Washu's lab laden with their ultra cool spy euipment that was over loading their pockets. They had a run in with Ayeka and Ryoko who still hadn't forgiven Marco from last year.

Ryoko: " If isn't Tenchi's friend, the failed comdian. Gained a little weight I see."

Marco: " My revange will be sweet, espeacaly on you."

He marched off and Jake followed, looking exasperated and counfused. They went to Tenchi's room and entered. Marco hid the hologram projecter under the bed and put a tape recorder with Tenchi's snores on it ( I have no clue how he got it,) and set it to start playing when he pushed a button on his remote controll, desigised as a key chain. Then They uloaded the rest of their equipment at their room and Marco ran into the bath room and came out dressed in a tuxideo, with a carnation in the breast pocket and had heavaly gelled hair.

Jake: "Not again, man come on!

Marco: " Jake, I'm not just Marco, no, I'm 009 top british intelligance second only to 007."

Sasami: " Marco is that you in there?"

Marco: ( British acent,) " I'm sorry miss, I'm agent 009, British Secret Intelligance, at you servace."

Jake: " Just play along he'll be back to normal tommarow."

Their next stop was the floating bath house. Marco dived in and set up a fake rat in a box on the floor of the spring. He climbed out and dried off with the towl Jake handed to him. Then they went in for Tea. Ryoko and Ayeka finished early and went to freshen up in the bath. Marco and Jake missed them by a second. They ate, while Marco continued with his James Bond act. He wouldn't stop and kept adressing Washu as "Q".

Marco: "Tell me Q, were are Ayeka and Ryoko, I wish to…Disguss something with them."

Miyoshi: "Is Marco a secret agent?"

Jake: (downing his tea,) "No, he's just lost it for a while."

Marco: " It's been lovely having Tea with you but now my partner and I have to work, Chiao."

They left and went to the hot spring house, Ryoko and Ayeka were emarsed in the spot that Marco set up his trap. They were apearntly talking about them and Tenchi. Marco was standing on Jake's shoulders and was holding a string that led inside. Marco was smirking and humming the theme to "James Bond" and Jake was getting a hernia and humming "Mission Impossible".

Jake: "This isn't about helping Tenchi anymore, is it?"

Marco: "We almost killed him, so I reasoned that we might as well get even for the pain that Ryoko and Ayeka have caused us for the last two years Now hand me the camera in your pocket."

Jake sighed and passed up a key chian spy camera and Marco tighted his grip on the string. Then he puuled it, nothing happened then a small shape floated to the surface and bobbed there. It only took a minute of horrified starring before Ryoko and Ayeka screamed and lept up out of the water. Marco then snapped the photo of them, giggling. They were dazed by the flash, but Ayeka recovered first and saw Marco through the glass.

Ayeka: " It's Marco!!! Get the perverted bastard!!!"

Marco(in a monotone voice): "Run Jake."

Jake ran with Marco still on his shoulders and both were screaming, the two girls following them with towles rapped around them selves and shouting threats at Marco. Jake would have made it execept that with Marco on his shoulder and clinging to him like a barnical, tripped over a rock and went sprawling. Jake was knocked out and Marco began to slap his face to wake him up. Then he dicided that Jake was expendable.

Marco: "Sorry dude, I'll make sure you have a nice funral and give my regards to Ryoko, Ayeka, and the Grim Reaper. Nice knowing you!"

Ryoko then takled him and held him down on top of Jake's prone body.

Ryoko: " Lets talk, shall we?"

Ayeka: "I think that would be a wonderful idea. Don't you Marco?

Marco: "Yeah, t-that w-w-would be n-nice."

Ayeka: "Now whats this set up with the fake rat and your camera?"

Marco: "Um um um… I uh… um..please don't hurt me?"

They both smiled evily and atacked him, they rose a large dust cloud. Marco screamed with agone, the girls screamed with rage, and Jake woke up and found him self in the middle of the frey. Every one came running out of the house and shrine to the carnage of screaming, crunching, and smashing.When the dust settled Ryoko and Ayeka were the victors and Marco and Jake were the losers. Jake and Marco were crushed, bent and smooshed into a body ball. The others just stared in shock.

Marco: "Hel-lp meeee!"

Jake: "I think my foot's stuck in Marco's pocket."

Ryoko: ( just noticing Jake,) " Oops, sorry Jake."

Jake: " 'S okay, just please find us a chiropractor."

Marco: "Hurry, my arm's gone numb."

Ryoko: "Coming right up!"

She picked them up and tossing them into the air then spiked them over the forest and into the city. In a bulding a man in a white uniform was hanging a diploma and license to practice charopratics, when the ceiling was broken through and Jake and Marco crash landed on his table amid the ceiling tile, shards of wood and pipes. He cracked his knuckles and advaced towards them, flexing his fingers.

THE NEXT DAY…..

Marco and Jake had just gotten back from town and were walking funny as they went up to their room and fell asleep with out even changing into night clothing. Now they were refreashed and ready for more action, Marco was at least. Jake had enough of Marco's plans and was planning to tell him, when Marco came down, dressed in loud striped pants an open green and yellow flowered shirt, with a white undershirt, and a fountal wave hir stlyle that plainly said, "I-Use-Too-Much-Hair-Gel."

Jake: " Oh no, now he's Ace Ventura, I guess I'd better stay with him, he needs all the support he can get."

Marco: " All righty then!! You may have won round one, ladies, but we still have an Ace or two up our sleves, come Jake!!"

Jake reluctantly followed Marco/Ace out to the lake and sat next him. Marco was mutering to himself and ignored Jake untill an idea came to him.

Marco: "I've got it!!!"

Jake: "Your sanity?"

Marco: (imitating Ace Ventura's laugh,) " No, wiseguy, the perfect solution to Tenchi's problem and our revenge. We'll need Washu on this and some spy work, hee hee!!"

Jake: "Not more spy work, you promised dude."

Marco: "Common, please?"

Later that night……

Out side Marco was standing under the bed room windows and holding a mini communicator disguised as a ring. He was wering a black sweater, black pants, and was carring a small bag with him. Jake was in his pj's, out in the living room, under the rafter that Ryoko slept on.

Jake: (wispering to Marco through the commincator,) " I'm going to find a way to get passed that pleaing and those damned puppy eyes!"

Marco: "Ssshh."

Using grappling hooks Marco broke in to Ayeka's room and slunk over to her bed. He used exreme causion as he fitted a bracelet on her arm, she snorted twice and rolled over, Marco then crept out into the hall and found Jake fast asleep agenst the wall.

Marco: "Slacker."

He went to Ryoko's sleeping areaand began to fit the other bracelet on her arm, when she awoke,slightly. Marco began to hum Rocka By Baby hurriedly then as she fell asleep again he fished his task and lightly tapped the bracelet, then ran to Ayeka's room and tapped Ayeka's bracelet. Ryoko floated through the walls and in Ayeka's room the bracelets clanked together and formed a small length of chain. Marco left sniggering and dragged Jake to their room and hoisted him on to the top bunk. Marco then relized he had a full bladder and headed for the little prankster's room. He then went to bed himself, wanting to be up bright and early when he could have a veiw of Ayrka and Ryoko at breakfast.

The next morning…..

Sasami awoke, got dressed and tip toed down-stairs to cook breakfast. She was surprised to find Marco sitting at the table, drinking a glass of orange juice.

Sasami: "Wow, Marco your really up early!"

Marco: "Don't mind if I help, do you?"

If she was older, Sasami would have been suspicious of him but she let him help. Soon Jake joined them and then Tenchi. Ryoko and Ayeka both started to wake up and then…

Ryoko Ayeka:"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!!!!" 

The scream was heard through out the house and everone but Marco, fell over anima style and from with in Washu's lab came an exploshion. She came out of the lab, the frount of her shirt drenched with a citris colored liquid. She was about ask who was doing the screaming when an arm popped out of her stomach, she quickly ran back into her lab, locking her door. Marco was laughing so hard that tears were coming out in streames and he had to lean agenst the table to stay standing. Then they came down stairs, tugging on the chain and yelling at each other. Marco began to laugh even harder, falling and rolling on the floor.

Ayeka: "This is the most immature stunt you've pulled since two days ago! Now we demand to be released!!"

Ryoko: "Or you'll be wearing these chains up your ass!!!"

Marco: "Sorry, I don't know how."

Jake: " Marco, they're gonna kill you."

Marco: " Yeah sure, any way now you two know not to mess with the almighty MARCO!!!"

Washu: "Actualy, you've just taught them a lesson. Instead of trying to murder each other, they're going to work together and murder you."

Marco: "HA! I'd like to see them try!! All they have to do is tap their manicals together and they're free. Oopse."

*clank*

*clank*

Marco: "Uh Oh."

He was grabbed by the colar and found himself staring into two pairs of angry eyes. They dragged him upstairs, and there was a load of horrible shriking coming from Tenchi's room. Then after a hour, Ayeka and Ryoko came down with triumphant looks on their faces. Jake then felt obliged to go up and see if Marco was still alive. He peeked into Tenchi's room and saw Marco. His pants had been pulled over his head and tied into a knot wich had been slung over the rafters; a large stick lay near by. Jake got Marco down off the ceiling, and Marco wasn't moving that much. Jake proded him and he gave a faint groan of pain, a sign of life. He lifted Marco over his sholder and went straight for Washu's lab, who was meanwhile was getting rid of an extra arm she had grown.

Washu: ( seeing Marco,) "One question, where the hell did get pants like that? They are the ugliest things I've ever seen, apart from myself in the mirror after a long night."

Jake: "Is he….?

Washu: "Don't worrie so mutch! He'll be fine by oh say, 8:00 pm."

Marco: ( muffled) "OW."

That night Marco came out of the lab, limping slightly and had bandages all over his face. Jake was playing chess with Ayeka, when Marco came over and moved all the pices and ended the game.

Marco: "Check mate, Jake wins, now common."

Jake: " So not fair."

Marco: "Whatever."

He pushed Jake upstaire and into the bathroom, locking the door he turned and smiled to Jake. Jake groaned, he knew what was coming, something that was going to put him in intensive care.

Jake: "You know Marco, what ever you have cooked up, I don't want any part of it."

Marco: " Your realy sad Jake, WHERE IS YOUR SPRIRT?!?! Think of fellow American's who have trouble getting dates all over the country! It's not just you duty to help Tenchi, it's your God given RIGHT!!!!!! Now be American and hear me out!"

Ryoko: "HEY!! MARCO!!!! GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE!!!!!"

Marco: "SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!! I'M F***ING TALKING TO JAKE HERE!!!!!! HOLD IT FOR A FEW MUINUTES!!!!!"

Jake: " You realy really grind my nerves."

Marco: "So will ya?"

LATER…..

Jake and Marco stole out into the hallway down to Tenchi's room and knocked on the door. As soon as Tenchi answered they pushed in. Marco was wearing his James Bond outfit. He went over to Tenchi's bed and activated the hologram of Tenchi sleeping and set off the tap recorder.

Marco: "You ready?"

Tenchi: "Do I have a choice?"

Jake+Marco: "NO."

They tied sheets together and slid down to the ground and ran for the gate. The gardians were tied to the gound and blind folds were over their eye sensores. They ran and weaved through the trees and came down to the end of the path were a cab waited. Marco threw Jake and Tenchi into the cab, jumped in,the driver stepped on the gas hard.

Cabbie(New Yrok City accent): " 'Bout Time! This'll coast ya!"

Marco: "Shut up and drive."

They sped away, scretching around the corner and went at top speed to the air port. Jake looked around out the the back window and saw an empty street.

Jake: "We did it."

Tenchi: "We did?"

Marco: " Weee DID IT!!!!! WOHOO!!! UP YOURS, YOU STUPID BITCHES!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA **HA** !!!!!!"

Jake: "Marco, calm down your freaking out.The cab driver is probly thinking of throwing you out. Take a deep breath. We're not out of the woods yet, don't get your hopes up, those gardians could get loose any time and then the entire house will be after us."

Marco: "Realax, I tied the them up with a sailor's knot, they're not warning anyone."

Tenchi: " You sure this'll work? You said that your friends will meet us at the airport."

Marco: "Relax, relax. I have every thing under controll."

Jake: ( in a small wisper,) "Marco, take a slow causal look outside."

Marco slowly put his head out the window and quickly pulled it back in with a look of pure horror. Ryoko was flying at them with her sword drawn.

Marco: " Oh SHIT!! Ryoko's on our tail!"

All: " GET US OUTTA HERE!!! STEP ON IT!!!"

Cabbie: "Damn it, I'm not a race car driver! This'll coast ya even more!!"

Marco: " Here, this outta help us."

He threw a small steel orb at Ryoko that when made contact exploded in to a smoke screen. The cab screetched to a halt in the airport drive way, and Marco pushed them out and threw money at the driver and they ran to the ticket man, stuffed the tickets in his hand and ran up the runway and jumped into the plane. They took off just as Ryoko and Ayeka,(who had taken a cab also,) ran up cursing at them on the runway.

Jake: "Uh, Marco, were's our luggage?"

Marco: "I had it put on the plane in advance."

Tenchi: "For once he acauly used his head."

Jake: "That's exactly what Rachel would say."

Marco: " Hardy har har."

The flight back was uneventful, execpt for the fact that Tenchi got air sick on Marco. The arived in and were greated by the other Animorphs. Rachel came over and cuffed Marco on the the back. They all shook hands with Tenchi and they all went to Cassie's barn. 

Cassie: (tending to a bobcat,) "I'm glad you two came back in one pice"

Marco: "All right, now we need to hide Tenchi untill the heat's off, he should be able to go home…. in 20 years."

Tenchi: "20 YEARS?!?

Rachel: "Marco!"

Marco: "WHAT?!?"

Jake: "I _still_ think that this is insane, you want us to harbor Tenchi until Ryoko and Ayeka get over him? That'll take decades!!"

Tobais: I hope you weren't followed, Marco.

Marco: "We lost them at the airport, they're half way across the world."

Ax: Is Japan a danrous country?

Tenchi: "No, it can acutaly be boring, but ever since I first reserected Ryoko, My life hasn't been the same. It's gotten even more 'execting' since I first met Marco over the internet."

Ax: I've heard of this Ryoko before, as I have the planet Jurai, but I don't know mutch I…

Animorphs: "Wasn't paying attention."

Ax: As humans say, " You can read me like a book."

Tobais: Hey, uh Marco. We have company.

Marco: "OH NO!!"

Tobais: Uh, Tenchi, do these girls, Ryoko and Ayeka, does one have turquiose hair and the other have purple hair?

Tenchi: " Yes, why?"

Tobias: Because they are coming and fast.

Marco: "F***! Quick Jake make a run for it!! I'll hold them off!!!"

Jake: "Too late."

Ryoko materlized through the wall and Ayeka ran in through the barn entrance.They lept on to Marco and began to beat the crap out of Marco. The rest of the Animorphs and Tenchi looked on at the spectical. Tobias kept watch for Cassie's parents and Rachel was holding a bag of popcorn. They left in Ryoko's ship, the Ryo-Ohki and left a sorry mess of humanity on the barn floor, Marco was barly reconizeable and was taken to the emergancy room.

One week later…..

Marco sat in a hospital bed fliping through the channals, nothing good was on. He had seven stiches, both legs and one arm were in casts, and his nose was out of alighnment.

The Animorphs trooped in and handed him cards and Cassie brought some flowers.

Marco: "Thanks. Jake did you get the film devolped?"

Jake: "Yep."

Marco: "You guys are gonna laugh so hard, that you'll crap your pants!"

They opened the photos and spent an hour laughign at old evnts. They would've stayed that way until certain photos were seen by Rachel.

Marco: " Haa Ha ha ha ha!!! Jake you were so cute in that wheel chair and…"

Rachel: " Marco, what the hell or these?"

Marco: " Oh, those are pictures of Ryoko and Ayeka when I put a fake rat in the hot spring."

Rachel: "NO These You Sick Pevert!!"

She shoved pictures of her self getting dressed for bed under his nose.

Marco: "Oh, those, uh… oopse?"

Rachel: " I'll more then f***ing OOPSE you!!!!!!"

One second later there was a tinkling of glass as Marco went soring out the window with a trail of yellow liquid following him. He fell screaming 5 floors.

Jake: " Maybe that parked car will break his fall."

CARSH!!! SMASH !!!!! BAM!!! ARRRRRGHHHUUUUUGE !!!!! WOOOOP! WOOOP! WOOOOP! tinkle tinkle.

Tobias: "Guess not."

Marco: " M…e…d…i…c."

Rachel: "Next time, I'll toss you from 10 floors up!"

Cassie: "Uh..Nurse? Emergancy."

THE END.. OR IS IT?

YEAH, IT IS.

**THE END **

****


End file.
